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Self Regulation

Chalk 2 Cheese, a Personality Development and enhancing soft skills Academy is more like a Grooming School. It helps you to become the best version of yourself.


Sometimes, humanity surprises me with all its lack of control over the primordial urges. These innate urges are the biological traits that make us similar to the rest of the animal kingdom. But the modern qualities that make us superior to all the animals are intellect and self control.

Self regulation is a skill that allows people to manage their emotions, behavior and body movement when they are faced with a tough situation. It also allows them to do that while staying focused and paying attention. Lots of kids and adults struggle with self regulation. They act impulsively in an emotional situation.

It is easy to confuse self regulation with self control. They are related, but they are not the same. Self control is mainly a social skill. Self regulation on the other hand is like a thermostat. A thermostat kicks on or off to keep a room at a certain temperature and knows whether to heat or cool the room. It is a skill that develops over time. People who struggle with it have trouble figuring out what will help them calm down when they get upset. They have a hard time being flexible when things change and might react with frustrated out bursts. It all has to do with how people process information that comes in from their senses.

Self regulation involves attention, self control, organization, memory strategies and planning. Whether you are a child or an adult, learning to self regulate is important. When you are self regulating, it is important to practice certain skills.

Practice being a good role model. Practice what you preach, making environment that are trustworthy and safe and living with good values. Commit to self discipline. Stay persistent in achieving your goals. Keep moving forward even if you do not feel like it. Be open to change. Dealing with change with a positive outlook can improve your ability to adapt to changing situation while remaining positive. Learn what your triggers are. This will help you become more self-aware and will help you figure out a good plan of action if you encounter your triggers. Keep your cool intense situations. You can remove yourself from the situation until you are able to deal with it with a calm mind. Work on taking a step back when your thoughts and feelings become negative. Analyze these negative feelings and thoughts and replace them with positivity. Think about the consequences. If you are compelled to act impulsively with bad behavior, pause and consider the consequences, especially if something like that has happened in the past. Work on your self confidence. This can help improve your self-efficacy and can allow you to focus on your own abilities.

Self regulation is the ability to understand and manage your behavior and your reactions to feelings and things happening around you.

Self Regulation Benefits

Being able to regulate reactions based on negative emotions such as frustration, anger, and embarrassment.

Being able to calm down when something exciting or upsetting happens.

Being able to focus on a task.

Being able to control impulses. The ability to behave in certain situations and get along with other people.

Self regulation also helps children to sit, listen and learn at school. Control impulses and act in socially acceptable ways. Take turns in games and conversations, express emotion in a proper way, and share toys, thus making friends. Make proper decisions regarding behavior learn how to behave in new scenarios and become more independent.

Tips for Self Regulation

Consider which situations create stress and lead to outbursts. Think about what type of environments these situations involve. May be its most stressful when plans change or routines disturbed. Understanding potential triggers can help avoid over stimulation and can be a teaching moment to help your little one learn how to self regulate.

Having a signal, also known as a frustration signal, can be useful. These signals often let us know that our children need a break to calm down. With a signal in place, children can let their parents, teachers, guardians and other adults around then know that they need to step away.

It is important that you speak up if you realize that you or your child is becoming overwhelmed. Children often have impulses to become upset and get loud at times, feeling overwhelmed. It is equally important that your child speaks up as well. Talking it out and figuring out ways to cope can help. Self regulation takes time to learn and even more time to master. Start with small goals and work up to bigger ones. It is important that you do not rush into things of expect too much of a child. You and your child can build up more control of emotional states.

Emotional eating tends to be a habit, and like any habit can be broken. It may be hard, if you have been doing it for a long time, but it is possible. The easiest way to tackle emotional eating is together as a family. You cannot expect an overweight child to stop binge eating snacks and junk food when other people in the household are eating them.

Make your house healthy. It is obvious that you cannot binge if there is no junk food in the house. Keep unprocessed, low calorie, low fat foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables. Set a good example for your kids by trying and enjoying healthier options. Take a look at your refrigerator and cut down on your temptations. Take a breather, go for a walk and wait until your emotions are in check before you go grocery shopping.

Figure out what’s triggering emotional eating, the next time you reach for your comfort food. Maintain a written record of what, how much and when you eat may help you see patterns in how mood affects what you choose to eat.

If you are aware of the social and emotional issues your kids are facing, it will help you guide them to make better choices when dealing with their emotions without eating. Find out what is going on in their personal lives. Do they feel good or bad about the way life is going? Ask about school, friends and how they feel. It helps to have some healthy ways to handle stress when times get tough. You and your kids can try deep breathing, going for a walk or listening to music. Sometimes, an outside perspective can give you an inspirational moment that lights the path for change. Do not be afraid to seek the help of a mental health professional if you are having trouble controlling your emotional eating. Although professional counseling might not be comfortable for elementary school children, it can help you or older kids figure out what is behind emotional eating and offer help for eating disorders.

Find satisfying alternatives. Once you figure out why food makes you feel better, you can come up with alternative behaviors that can help you cope instead of emotional eating. If you feel bored then distract yourself by calling a friend or surfing the internet. If you are frustrated because you feel like you are not in control then go for a walk on a path you choose. It can lead to cravings and binge eating if you deny yourself all treats. Allow yourself to have your favorite foods occasionally and in small portions. To make it easier to adopt new healthier habits, keep the focus on fun and feeling good. A study showed that teenager’s were more likely to take a walk when they heard that it would make them feel good than when they heard it was the healthy thing to do.

Celebrate success. Focus on the positive changes you are making and you will get better results with encouragement than with harsh criticism. Changing an emotional eating habit is a process. Some backsliding will happen, so acknowledge when it does and use it as a chance to plan how you will deal with the same situation in the future. When you work together to build better eating habits, the support you can offer each other and the rewards you enjoy can be priceless. Celebrate a week of healthy eating as a family by taking a walk in the woods, having a swim night or going skating together. Successes are sweeter when you can share them.

Solve stressful situations.

As a parent, there are plenty of times you are in stressful situations. You can solve them in ways that make it easy for you and your kids to make good choices. Here is a look at common stressful times and ideas for easy and healthy fixes.

Morning rush hour at home. When everyone is scrambling to eat and get out the door on time, it can be hard to stay calm. It is easier if you have lunches made and backpacks ready the night before, but no matter do not let anyone skip breakfast. A good breakfast gives energy for the day, helps with focus and keeps you full until lunch so you are less likely to grab unhealthy snacks.

Afternoon stress time. Your Kids come home loaded with commitments to all kinds of after school activities. You need to answer some emails and everybody has too much to do. Send the kids out to run around for ten minutes before they start doing homework. It will help them to get their brains ready to study and get blow off some school stress. Later have a family talk about doing too much and decide to limit things to one sport a season and may be one other activity. Help the kids prioritize the ones they enjoy the most and keep one day a week where the kids come home and do not have anything extra to do.

No time for dinner. When you are too tired to make a hot healthy dinner, do not head for a restaurant, there are probably a few healthy choices in your fridge. Serve breakfast for dinner like whole grain cereal with low fat milk, topped with fresh fruit. Next time you go to the grocery store, make a plan and buy enough to make double batches of your meal for the week. Freeze the extra so you can just reheat and eat next time you need an easy meal. If you are racing from school to practice and do find yourself at the drive then make smart choices.

Bedtime is a zoo. After an evening of school activities, homework, dinner and everything else that goes on in your busy house, everyone is too tired to sleep. Do not turn on the TV in hopes of getting kids to relax as kids who spend more time watching screens close to bedtime have a harder time falling asleep. Instead, turn all the electronics off at least an hour before bed. Bright light from screens keeps the brain from making hormones that make you sleepy. Turn on some soft music and turn down the lights. Get kids to take soothing baths. Getting the body warm and then cooling off can bring on sleep. Having a relaxing routine gets your body ready to sleep.

Too close for comfort. Everyone is cranky and the weather is bad so you cannot send the kids outside to play. It is tempting to let them entertain themselves with video games as you retreat to your laptop. But it is better to find way to get the family moving and having fun. Kids are more likely to embrace active lifestyles when their parents are leading the way. You need 30 minutes of physical activity and kids need an hour eve. Moving together eases stress and is fun.

Effective self regulation depends on three ingredients.

First, one must have clear and unconflicting standards, such as clear goals or ideals.

Second, one must monitor the self consistently, such as by keeping track of behavior. Third, one must have the wherewithal to produce the necessary changes in oneself and that may include will power or knowledge of effective strategies. Problems in any area can impair self regulation. Several areas for future research on self regulation are promising. The nature of the psychological resource that is expended must be clarified and brain processes may shed valuable light on how self regulation works. Effective self regulation includes the ability to adapt oneself to diverse circumstances. It is a vital aspect of human success in life.

Self knowledge is the beginning of self improvement.

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